My depression comes and goes and manifests itself in different ways, but for the most part I manage to keep it under wraps.
Today I'm not having much success in keeping it at bay. Another reminder that depression is inexplicably random.
I don't know why, but I just feel like I'm on the edge of a breakdown. Like the world is crashing in on me. There's a Leaf game on right now and I'm not even watching it, that's how bad this is.
Why? I have no fricking idea.
I even got some unexpected good news today, that I've been nominated for the Sask Lacrosse Association's media of the year award. And even that isn't enough to drag me out of this funk.
It's the classic impostor syndrome rearing its head... guilt. My brain is telling me I don't deserve to be up for this award, I didn't really do anything, none of the stories I wrote was anything to be proud of. I'm a fraud... give the nomination to someone more deserving.
This is the kind of garbage depression puts you through.
It's been a long, long time since I was depressed like this. Maybe it's just a one-day thing, maybe not. I have no earthly idea why it's happening.
This is why we need to get rid of the stigma surrounding mental illness. It's an illness, not a weakness.
It's not that we can't handle what's coming at us. It's that our brains are trying to kill us. #sicknotweak
This song does a pretty good job of explaining how depression feels:
No comments:
Post a Comment